It had been a hard day in the House, and several prominent Republicans were congregating at the vending machines, eyeing up the pickled onion Monster Munch and chatting quietly. One of these men, "Rad Mad Thad", became distracted as the conversation moved from relevant political matters to theories on gender relations, and decided to purchase a tasty snack. He reached into his pockets and pulled out a grubby fifty pence piece, and pushed it into the coin slot. The coin disappeared, but the machine failed to register any credit.
Rad Mad Thad was, by nature, a bilious and belligerent old man, and was not prepared to have his patience tested by a machine. As he felt rage pulsing through him, he lashed out at the machine's keypad, to the horror of his colleagues, who halted their trite conversation, and hastily offered to purchase him some Monster Munch from the shop next door. But Rad Mad Thad's choler could not be contained. After launching a tirade of abuse at the silent machine, Thad pushed his face through the glass, which sliced his skin and ruptured his eyeballs. Blinded by blood and trapped by the jagged glass, Thad thrashed wildly, opening his jugular and drenching the snacks, which were thankfully waterproof, by virtue of their foil wrappings. As he attempted one final time to free himself from his blood-soaked - but still scrumptious - prison, he unintentionally tipped the hapless machine onto its glass front, crushing his body and dislodging several of the snacks.
After the excitement of the preceding minutes had ebbed away, a semblance of calmness gradually settled on the group of Representatives, who lost interest in the now-defunct machine and the now-defunct Republican. Thad's Republican colleagues saw they could no longer see the pickled onion Monster Munch, and, having lost their main attraction to the area, decided to continue their discussions elsewhere.
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